Propaganda

APROPOS OF AN EARLIER ENTRY, I PRESENT HERE A COLUMN THAT I WROTE FOR THE KINGSTON WHIG-STANDARD.  THE PIECE APPEARED ON SEPT. 19, 1988 (pA7), SHORTLY BEFORE THE SEOUL OLYMPICS AND THE BEN JOHNSON INCIDENT.  IT ASKS READERS TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR WHEN THINKING ABOUT DRUGS IN SPORT…..

 HOLMES DISCERNS THE CHARIOTS OF PILLS

“WELL, THEN, MY HOLMES, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN ALL THESE DRUG DISQUALIFICATIONS BEFORE THE OLYMPIC GAMES?” “ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATSON.  THE ATHLETES WANT TO WIN AND MANY WILL DO ANYTHING TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL.  IT’S JUST ANOTHER MEASURE OF HOW PROFESSIONAL THE GAMES HAVE BECOME.  IF THE IOC CANNOT EXCLUDE THE PROS, THEY’LL SEEK TO MAINTAIN THEIR PROFILE SOMEWHERE ELSE–BY EXCLUDING THE DRUGGIES.  THIS IS THE CURRENT DEFINITION OF A PURE ATHLETE–ONE WHO IS DRUG FREE, RATHER THAN A CLOSET CAPITALIST.” “IT’S THAT SIMPLE.  YOU MUST USE YOUR HEAD, WATSON.”  

                                        ********

ANOTHER OLYMPIAD HAS NOW BEGUN IN SEOUL, KOREA, AND–AS ONE MIGHT EXPECT–THE REDOUBTABLE SHERLOCK HAS A POINT. WITH A RECORD 14,000 ATHLETES FROM 161 COUNTRIES ON HAND, THE BIG NEWS BEFORE THE GAMES WAS NOT THE PROBABILITY OF A MAJOR POLITICAL BOYCOTT, NOT THE UNPRECEDENTED COUNTERSUBVERSIVE MEASURES TAKEN AGAINST POTENTIAL TERRORISTS, NOT EVEN THE GRAND AMOUNT OF CAPITAL THE WORLD TV NETWORKS SURRENDERED FOR THE RIGHT TO TELEVISE THIS QUADRENNIAL EXTRAVAGANZA. NO, AS IN SO MANY WESTERN COUNTRIES, THE BIG ISSUE WAS DRUGS, AND THE BIG PRE-GAMES BATTLE OCCURRED NOT ON THE STREETS OF SEOUL, BUT IN OLYMPIC VILLAGE LAVATORIES AND LABORTORIES, WHERE URINE SPECIMENTS BECAME THE CENTRE OF SHARPER ATTENTION THAN THEY’VE EVER BEEN IN GRADUATE SCIENCE LABS AT QUEEN’S. URINE, OF COURSE, HAS BEEN HISTORICALLY ONE OF THE TWO GREAT THROWAWAY ITEMS PRODUCED BY HUMANKIND.  IN RECENT YEARS, THOUGH, ESPECIALLY IN SPORTS COMPETITION, URINE HAS BECOME THE PRIME LITMUS TO DETERMINE WHETHER ATHLETES HAVE BEEN INGESTING SUBSTANCES THEY FEEL WILL ENHANCE THEIR PERFORMANCE, OR EASE THEIR PSYCHES, OR BOTH.  HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONALS AND EXERCISE PSYCHOLOGISTS WILL NAME A MILLION AND ONE OTHER REASONS, BUT FOR THOSE INVOLVED IN ATHLETIC COMPETITION, AT LEAST, THESE TWO EXPLANATIONS FIGURE PROMINENTLY. SUBSTANCE ABUSE–A NICE EUPHEMISM–NOW RANKS AS A SIGNIFICANT PROBLEM THROUGH NORTH AMERICAN PROFESSIONAL AND UNIVERSITY ATHLETICS.  MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL, THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, THE NBA, THE NHL, AND THE NCAA AND CIAU ALL HAVE ADOPTED TOUGH MEASURES– RANGING FROM SUSPENSIONS TO LIFETIME BANS — TO COPE WITH A PROBLEM THAT ONCE MORE TIES ATHLETICS TO THE LARGER CULUTRE IT INHABITS. FOR THIS LARGER CULTURE, OUR CULTURE, EXTOLS, INDEED PUSHES DRUGS FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS–NOT LEAST BEING THE UNCOMMON PROFITS THAT ACCOMPANY THEIR SALE.  LIKE IT OR NOT, WE COMPRISE AN OVER-THE-COUNTER SOCIETY, WHERE ILLS IMAGINED AND REAL SEEM TO HAVE ONLY PHARMACOLOGICAL ANTIDOTES.  AND, AS WITH SO MUCH ELSE IN LIFE, OUR FRAGILE ENVIRONMENT BEING A GOOD CASE IN POINT–WE SEEK TO CURE AFTER A PROBLEM ARISES, RATHER THAN BEFORE IT DOES. THAT POINT IS WORTH PONDERING.

                                       ***************

DRUG ABUSE BY GAMES ATHLETES IS UNDERSTANDABLE, EVEN FORGIVEABLE, WHEN ONE COMPREHENDS HOW IMPORTANT WINNING HAS BECOME TO OLYMPIC COMPETITORS.  IF EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT, THEN I’D BETTER DO IT AS WELL–ELSE I’LL NOT HAVE THE EDGE MY OPPONENT DOES. IN THIS SENSE, THERE’S NO DISTANCE WHATSOEVER BETWEEN THE NFL (WHICH AT PRESS TIME HAD ISSUED NINETEEN 30-DAY SYSPENSIONS FOR DRUG-TEST FAILURES AND THE OLYMPICS. IN BOTH VENUES, THE ADMINITION TO COMPETE (AKA WIN!!) CARRIES WITH IT A HOST OF ANIXIETIES, PRESSURES, AND DEMONS. GRANTED THAT NFL STARS ARE A BIT BETTER PAID ON AVERAGE THAN THE RUN-OF-THE-MILL U.S. OR CANADIAN OLYMPIC ATHLETE, THE FACT REMAINS THAT THE MEANING COCAINE OR ALCOHOL OR MARIJUANA TO AN NFL LINEBACKER IS NOT TOO DIFEERENT FROM THE LURE OF USING ANABOLIG STEROIDS TO BECOME STRONGER, OR ENGAGING IN “BLOOD DOPING” TO RUN FASTER, OR TAKING A TOKE OR TWO TO RELAX OR CHASE MEMORIES OF A BUM PERFORMANCE. ANABOLIC STEROIDS PROVIDE A CASE IN POINT, ESPECIALLY AS THEIR ABUSE RESULTED IN THE DEPARTURE FROM SEOUL LAST WEEK OF FOUR CANADIAN WEIGHT-LIFTERS.  THE PREMATURE EJECTION OF KEVIN ROY, JACQUES DEMERS (A SILVER MEDALIST IN THE LA GAMES IN 1984), PARAMJIT GILL, AND DAVID BOLDUC IS INTERESTING PRECISELY BECAUSE THE EXPELLED MEN KNEW THE RULES, KNEW THE OLYMPIC NARCS WOULD BE SUPER-VIGILANT, BUT STILL GOT CAUGHT. IN POST-DISMISSAL INTERVIEWS, DEMERS AND BOLDUC BOTH ADMITTED THEIR “MISTAKE,” AND ADDED THAT THEY DID NOT EXPECT TO GET CAUGHT BECAUSE THEY HAD PASSED SIMILAR TESTS BEFORE LEAVING A CANADIAN TRAINING CAMP IN CZECHOSLOVAKIA A MONTH AGO. STEROIDS, AS MOST WEIGHT-LIFTERS AND PROFESSIONAL AND UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL LINEMEN KNOW, REPUTEDLY ALLOW ATHLETES TO IMPROVE THEIR STRENGTH AND PERFORMANCE BY REDUCING THE REST TIME THEIR BODIES NEED BETWEEN WORKOUTS AND BETWEEN COMPETITIONS.  STEROIDS ALSO PROVIDE A QUICK WAY TO BUILD MUSCLE MASS. HENCE THE UNINITIATED MIGHT INQUIRE, “WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?”  WELL, FOR ONE THING, ANABOLIC STEROIIDS, WHEN ABUSED, HAVE SIGNIFICANTLY SCARY AND TOXIC  SIDE EFFECTS.  FOR IN ADDITION TO ADDING WEIGHT AND STRENGTH AND RESTORING ENERGY, THESE SYNTHETIC DERIVATIVES FROM THE MALE HORMONE, TESTOSTERONE, CAN–AS THE THEME SONG FROM M*A*S*H PUT IT, BRING ON MANY CHANGES. SO LET’S SAY YOU WANT TO GET BIG–YOU KNOW, INCREASSE YOUR NECK SIZE FROM THE REGULAR 15 1/2 TO 21 AND YOUR WEIGHT FROM ITS NORMAL 175 TO 250.  AND YOU WANT TO DO IT QUICKLY (THIS, AFTER ALL, IS THE FLIP-SIDE OF THE WEIGHT-REDUCTION COIN–OFTEN EQUALLY DANGEROUS WHEN A QUICK FIX IS DESIRED).  WE ALL WANT QUICK RESULTS.  THAT’S THE MESSAGE OF CONSUMER CORPORATISM. WAIT, THERE’S MORE GOOD NEWS!  ABUSE OF ANABOLIC STEROIDS LIKE ANADROL, DIANABOL, DUNABOLIN, MARIBOLIN, AND WINSTROL MAY ALSO RESULT IN EDEMA (SWELLING CAUSED BY THE COLLECTION OF SEROOUS FLUID IN BODY TISSUE), STERILIZATION (TESTICLE SHRINKAGE AND SUPPRESSION OF SPERM PRODUCTION), CHOLESTIC HEPATITIS (LIVER DAMAGE), HIRSUTISM (A NEW APPEARANCE, SIMILAR TO KING KONG); ATROPHY OF BREASTS IN WOMEN AND THE GROWTH OF BREASTS (OR GYNECOMASTIA) IN MEN, INCREASED YELLOW SKIN PIGMENTATION (JAUNDICE CAUSED BY LIVER MALFUNCTION), PRIAPISM (A PERSISTENT, ABNORMAL, AND PAINFUL ERECTION OF THE PENIS, HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH SEXUAL DRIVE).

THAT ANABOLIC STEROIDS ARE NOW A PERMANENT FEATURE OF OLYMPIC GAMES PREPARATION CERTAINLY COUNTED HEAVILY IN THIS OLYMPIAD’S TOUGH-MINDED APPROACH TO DURG USERS.  AND GIVEN THE AFOREMENTIONED LIST OF (TO SAY THE LEAST) UNPLEASANT SIDE EFFECTS CONNECTED WITH STEROIDS, ONE MAY CONCUR WITH IOC PRESIDENT JUAN ANTONIO SAMARANCH, WHO CLASSED OUR DISGRACED CANADIANS WITH “COMMON CRIMINALS” WHILE DECRYING “THOSE WHO BREAK THE RULES WHILE SEEKING BETTER PERFORMANCES THROUGH CHEMICAL MEANS.” SAMARANCH’S WAS A TOUGH STATEMENT–THAT “DOPING EQUALS DEATH.” AND THE LIST OF BALEFUL SIDE EFFECTS FROM ANABOLIC STEROID USE SEEMS TO CONFIRM HIS MESSAGE.

YET I RECALL AS A YOUNG BOY LISTENING TO THE “CAVALCADE OF AMERICA,” SPONSORED BY DU PONT, WHICH REITERATED, WEEK AFTER WEEK, A PROMISE OF “BETTER THINGS TRHOUGH CHEMISTRY.” AND I ALSO RECALL THE COMMENT, SOME YEARS BACK, BY AN OFFENSIVE LINEMAN FOR THE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS, THAT “I’M NOT GOING TO GO OUT THERE ONE-ON-ONE WITH A FUY WHO IS GRUNTING AND DROOLING AND COMING AT ME WITH BIG DILATED PUPILS UNLESS I’M IN THE SAME CONDITION….” THE CHARIOTS OF FIRE MAY BE LONG GONE, BUT THEY'’VE BEEN REPLACED BY AN APOTHECARY CARRIAGE THAT WE ALL RIDE.                                          

YES, I WROTE THESE WORDS NEARLY EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO.  AND I COULD WRITE THEM AGAIN TODAY.  COMMENTS WELCOME.                                           

This entry was posted on Friday, May 19th, 2006 at 1:27 pm and is filed under Culture & Society, Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.