THE AD OF THE CENTURY!
Nearly two decades ago, with winter schlupping all around, and the only area of creativity in front of an old computer (black and white screen, you get it), I decided that I had the idea for the advertisement of the century–an ad so good that Leo Burnett of Chicago had to see it. I felt the advertisement worth at least $10,000–and as a neophyte that’s what I decided to settle for when I began phoning and playing kitschy-koo. That means to let the agency know that you’ve got a great idea, but that they’ll never hear about it until they send the money……
The following appeared as a “Time-Out” column in the winter of 1988 in the Monday Kingston Whig-Standard, when that paper was still a newspaper…….
ELLA FITZGERALD AND DARYL DAWKINS–WHAT A DUO!
All right, so we’re going to have advertising on our televised sports events, come what may.
If this be the case, let’s spend more, a whole lot more, thought on these short treatises on sales.
The other night, when the temperature dipped to a level that not even old basketball cards of George Mikan and John “Apples” Kudelka (don’t ask) could thaw, the following thought occurred as distinctly feasible.
So, here is the ad for 1988 Sport TV–part of the subject matter borrowed, part original. Indeed, the original part is a spoof on the derivative portion. Here is a post holiday “gift” for themakers of Memorex cassette tapes.
The first part of the ad is borrowed — nothing new here: Ella Fitzgerald, that great singer, has recorded her sonorous, inimitable voice on a tape, and played it back while several gorgeous crystal wine goblets look on. When she hits the high note, as you all know, the goblets shatter–all of them! You know that part too.
Ah, hah! Here comes something new! In the second portion of the advertisement, Daryl Dawkins comes onto the screen. You don’t know Dawkins? Well, he’s 6-9, and 290, a predecessor of Shaq O’Neal and one of the few players who have gone directly from high school to stardom in the NBA.
Dawkins is a little-long in the tooth now, but no matter. He’s still a force on the court, so much so that during his career, he’s shattered a number of glass backboards with the force of his slam dunks during games.
Hey, getting the idea? No? Well, there’s more…
In the second part of the ad, Dawkins discovers a cassette recorder, loads it with a Memorex tape (what else?), and sings in his voice for a few seconds.
Then he strides out onto the basketball court, and says in a quiet voice, “Hey, I wonder how good this is?”
Next, with a very serious look on his face, he aims that cassette recorder at one of the glass backboards, and replays his singing.
And do you know what? Of course! Voila! The ingenious ad editor splices in an old video of a backboard shattering, just as Ella’s crystal goblets shattered.
Then, the sweet denouement. In the last segment of the best ad for 1988, and perhaps of the entire twentieth century, sweet Ella reappears, walks onto the bball court, climbs a ladder (the only way to get to Dawkins’s level), and throws an arm around his shoulder.
“Not bad for a beginner,” she murmurs, in her soft voice.
Surely, Leo Burnett (the agent for Memorex) should have bought that ad. But because the corporation had “real writers” writing ad copy, they did not give me the time of day. And, of course, now the day of Memorex or any casette tapes, has passed…..
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